Ms. Tigger and I on the happiest day...
The closer that it gets to Christmas, the more stressed out I get. I just don’t have the Christmas spirit. The warmest fuzziest Christmas feeling that I’ve had this year was driving around with JH to look at Christmas lights while we were all stoned. I’m not decorating or having a tree this year. This is a first for me. I have been on my own for ten years now and have always had a Christmas tree. It is just not as much fun when you don’t have anyone to share it with. Maybe next year!
The worst thing is trying to find time for everyone and make definite plans. This I hate. I don’t like plans that are “set in stone” because then I feel like I HAVE TO go through with them or else! That is just all too stressful for me.
Last year I got so stressed out about this that I stayed at home all alone and didn’t go to my parent’s house. It just didn’t make any sense for me to drive 3 hours to eat entirely too much food, go to church, spend the night, and then drive 3 hours to get home. All while feeling bad because I left Tigger alone. (She is very co-dependant!) It’s a bitch to find someone to take care of you cat when you don’t know anyone in town and your nearest friend or relative lives 300 miles away.
Now that I’m closer, I have to go and it is totally f***ing with me. My great Aunt Fran is coming to Jackson to visit. I haven’t seen her since my Granny Callie (Mom’s mom) passed away. They were sisters and they are sooo different. My Granny died when she was 84 years old. She never smoked a cigarette, said a curse word, or got drunk on purpose. (She drank some punch at a wedding once and didn’t know that it was spiked. Oh, and that was not a virgin daiquiri that I gave her while she was staying with me when I was in high school and my parents were out of town.) Sorry Granny Callie! She most certainly did not ever have sex with anyone except her husband and he died 2 weeks after I was born. Wow! What a woman. I certainly did not inherit this trait from my grandmother.
My Aunt Fran is another story. She is in her late 70’s. She smokes at least a pack of cigarettes a day and the woman loves to drink. She will go to Mexico just for their tequila. No shit! She loves to travel and refuses to ever remarry since the death of her husband. She says that she has been through marriage once and doesn’t wish to do it again. She has a boyfriend and someone should award this man with a medal of honor or something for being able to semi-tame this wild woman. Aunt Fran is the craziest person in my family. She’s the party animal that is always up for anything, no matter how insane it may be. I never understood where my mother got her crazy gene from until I got to know my Aunt Fran as an adult. She can out drink you, out smoke you, and stay out much later than you. I literally could not keep up with her the last time she came to visit. Aunt Fran is an honest person. She has no problem telling you what she thinks or how she feels, no matter how rude, upfront, or racist she may appear. You should never ask Aunt Fran a question that you are not prepared to hear an overly honest and in your face answer to. I can’t wait to sit down and drink with this woman and play catch up with her. She always seems genuinely interested in my life. I guess that she makes me feel closer to my grandmother. We were very, very close. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and love spending time with them. It is just when you have 3 generations of Bascoe women in the same house for too long of a time, it usually results in NN needing to take a valium or xanax and I’m trying really hard not to do that these days.
I also have to drive to La. and pick up JH on Christmas Eve. He neglected to check his oil on his motorcycle and as a result, he blew the motor and now has no transportation until the bike is repaired. We will go to Midnight Mass with my overly Catholic family on Christmas Eve and then go out to one of the local watering holes that I frequently like to go to. On Christmas day we’ll go to my parent’s and have lunch, open presents, and then head back to La. Oh and you bet your ass we’ll stop at the casinos on the way there! I will probably spend the night with JH on Christmas and head back to Jackson the following day.
After the craziness of the holidays fades, I will be trying to get settled into “my new life.” New place, new school, new relationship? It is positively going to be a new year with lots of changes taking place. I’m just hoping that they are all for the better. I’m just putting all of this out of my mind until at least Monday. I’m going to go out with PS this weekend. I’m going to fix my hair, put on some red lipstick, put on a gorgeous dress with some great heels and go to Jack and Jill’s and break all of the lesbian’s hearts when I tell them, “No thank you, I prefer men to f**k men.” All while looking fabulous, of course. It would be great if I could be gay. Women are so much more sensitive. I just can’t do it. Women are great, but when it comes right to it, I need a penis (a real one) to get off. Sorry ladies!