Rest in Peace
Ms. Tigger and I on the happiest day...
Katrina, Be Nice To Me! God, Protect Me!
Good Morning, Peoples! How are ya? Me, I'm fucking scared shitless!!! I live in Jackson, Ms. (just in case you forgot, after all of these years) Anyway, I live right in the path of Miss Katrina. I'm over at my neighbor's house right now. (Brad, Liz, and the beautiful Mr. Keagan. I love him. I think that he has a crush on me.) Brad just left to go to the store with his brother Rusty. He seems like a nice enough fella. I thought it was very sweet of them to let me use their computer for what may or may not be my last entry. For tomorrow or the next day, I may be dead.
Oh well, if I die, just know that, the bitch, Eliza was there with me the whole time. Yeah, She decided to come up from a 2 week binge of partying in New Orleans to stay with me. She's sooo Fucking thoughtful. I hate her! I could live a happy life if I never saw her again!
Well, I bid you, farewell! Theres really not much to say. I'll update when the storm is over. If you don't hear from me than, I'm dead. So...party on!!! Oh, Happy Birthday Mom and HH!!! Tomorrow is their birthdays! I guess that I'm fixing to get out in the pouring rain and walk home. I'm sure the Godfather is freaking out with all of this wind.
We're A Happy Family...
My home is absolutely fabulous looking. I love it and so does the Godfather. We are ever so happy to feel safe once again. We are happy and we are in love. I'm over at my Uncle's house. I just wanted to do a quick post. I'll be back Sunday evening to do a longer one, but just wanted to say "HOWDY"
to all of my peeps! Have a great weekend, y'all! For all of my fellow J!E!T!S!
Fans out there, they play against the Giants tomorrow. Go! Jets!
Baby, I Love The Toilet You Sit On
The move from hell is over. I must say that I was correct when I said that I'd have that place set up within 2 days. I love it. It totally rocks. I have central air and heat. I'm still not quite sure what to think about that. I know it will definitely be nice this winter. I have really nice neighbors and I feel totally safe there. I like it a lot! I must say that i do have the cutest front yard of all!
I woke up, well, I was woken up at 5am this morning by the Godfather. He was hungry and climbed all over me to try and wake me. That didn't work. So...the little shit decided to lay on my face until I FINALLY
got up to hand feed him his sliced turkey. Ummm...Who's spoiled? I know, I know, it's all my fault, but the baby has had such a hard life before I adopted him. He more than deserves it! He's my boy!!!
Once I was up, I took my seizure medicine. Needless to say, I didn't go back to sleep any time soon. I did get a few things done. I sketched out 2 new paintings. I wrote a little in my 1st book and almost finished the book that I am now reading. HOORAY for me!!! I'm sooo productive!
The weather here was amazing today. The high was 100 degrees, but, you wouldn't have known it. It was so nice that I sat outside most of the day. It started storming at about 5pm. I put on a little Nine Inch Nails and sat outside on my little wicker loveseat and wrote in my book. I love stormy weather. Nothing better!
Speaking of music and the Godfather, he's one odd kitty! I put in a Sarah McLachlan CD and he was all over the place. I then put in a Police CD and he was sleeping on the couch. I was like, ok, let's see just how much he can take. I then put in Pink Floyd's Dark Side Of The Moon, once again, mush! That's when I decided to put in a NIN CD. He loved it! Maybe in his mind Sarah sounds like Black Sabbath and NIN sounds like Sarah. I dunno? He's a weird one, but I love him more and more everyday.
Did anyone happen to see my J!E!T!S! kick some Viking ass last night? I did and it was a beautiful thing. Watching Chad through the football for over 40 yards after having surgery on his right shoulder made my one happy gal. I think the final score was 28-21. I know it's only pre-season, but hey, my team won and that makes me ever so happy!!!!!!!!!! That's all that matters, right?
On that note, I think that I'm going to look up their schedule and write it down. Have a wonderful week and an even better weekend!
Sleep? What Is That?
I think I vaguely remember it. Isn't it where you lay down in a bed, on a couch, or the floor, or even sitting in a chair, and close your eyes and sleep? Maybe you even have dreams. (If your lucky, you occasionally dream of Hugh Jackman and he's VERY single!) Is that what it is to go to sleep? Wouldn't know these days. I don't even think that I got a full 4 hours of it last night and you want to know what I'm doing now? Drinking coffee!! Why not? It's not like my head is going to hit a pillow any time soon. I can tell you one thing. Tonight, I'm Ambien bound. I'm going to sleep if it kills me.
My Dad and my cousins are moving all of my furniture out of my house and into the new place tomorrow. I may be there to supervise. I may not. At this point, I'm in such a bitchy mood that I really don't give a big stinky shit! I'm just waiting for the phone to ring, hoping that it's someone that I hate, where I can chew them a new asshole. I've already decided that if one more person calls here and ask to speak with my Mother (they start calling at 7am) that I'm going to tell them that she just took off in the middle of the night and fled to Canada and I don't know how to get in touch with her. Sounds like good fun to me.
Since it seems that I'm going to be awake for a while and my vision is more normal than it has been in months that I'm going to work on my first book. I've decided why read 'em when I could write one that I think would be funny as hell. It's basically going to be the story of my life from the time I was pushed out of my Mother's hoo-hah to my life of today. It should make for some very interesting reading. I have lots to say. Some people may be pissed off about what I write about their part in my life, but the way I look at it is that if you don't like what I write about you, than you shouldn't have been such snobby assholes. Oh, I can't wait! I hope that everyone that I know reads this book. I just may have to send them out as X-mas presents to everyone that has ever known me. I'm sure that I'll be finished by then. Hell, it's only August and at the rate I'm going, I could probably have this bitch out by Halloween. Funny! My life has pretty much been a horror story. Ha! Ha!
On that note, I just got a brand new journal yesterday and I think that I'll go and see what I can accomplish with my writing skills today. Allrighty than, I'm going to write. Maybe I'll see that my life is boring as hell and fall asleep, NOT! Ok, I'm off to make more coffee and get to writing. Don't think that you've heard the last of me today. I'm sure I'll be back with another post later. Until then, have a wonderful day and an even better weekend. Especially my girl Suzannadanna. (If you haven't read her than you are really missing out on some funny reading. Just go to my links and check her out, NOW DAMN IT
!) I wuv you girl and Brando sends his love and wanted me to send you some smoochies! He sends you smoochies and just scratches the hell out of me. What kind of love spell have you put on my cat? Ha! Ha!
I just had to come in and add a little something to my other favorite girl. Perpetual Blonde, baby, it definitely sounds like you have your hands full. I must say that it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job of keeping the boys from scratching their 'lil ones. Kudos to you for that! Have a good weekend. I'm glad that you have finally updated, but I do understand that you have been busy as hell. I love the new page design. I'm jealous! To other readers: if you haven't checked out the coolest soccer Mom in the world, then go NOW
to my links and read her! You know that you have nothing else to do. If you did, you wouldn't be here! Go, go, go, and check both my gals out. I promise you won't regret it! Have I ever lied to you? Now, GO!!! Go GOPHERS, go!!!
Pork Chops Tastes Good
I took my first dose of my new medication last night just like Dr. Dick told me to. I, personally, think that I should be taking it in the mornings, but who am I to question the doctor? The reason that I think this is because I have had a total of 4 (maybe) hours sleep in the past 24 hours. That stuff kept me up ALL night long. I watched a 5 hour movie that started at 10pm and when it was over, I was still wide awake. I finally fell asleep at about 5am only to be awakened by a fucking wrong number at 7am. Agggrrrhhh!!! My family went shopping earlier and I managed to squeeze in an hour and a 1/2 nap. I'm sooo very sleepy, but, it's almost time to take my medicine so I'm not worried about falling asleep any time soon.
If the medicine makes me feel the same way tonight than I'm going to start taking it in the mornings. I'd much rather be awake all day than all night. It will come in especially handy this weekend while I supervise the big move. Ha! Ha! Other than making me feel like I've been on an all night cocaine binge, I guess the medicine is alright. We'll see. If it keeps making me feel this way, we may be changing meds before we originally planned. I can say that I have yet to have another seizure. I know, I know, it's way too soon to tell. I'm just trying my best to be a smart ass here. I think I'm doing pretty well. How about you?
I'm so happy that pre-season football has started. That means that we'll be getting real football soon. My J! E! T! S!
play against the Detroit Lions tomorrow. They'll surely kick their ass. I'm just going to be happy to see my boys in their green and white. I'm telling you, this is going to be our year. We (the Jets) are Super Bowl bound! Our first "real" game is on Sept. 11th against the Kansas City Chiefs. We (they) will surely kick their ass too. I can't wait. I feel like a virgin all over again. Ok, ok, ok, stop laughing! Now I just need to find a sports bar that will be showing the game. Hopefully, that is what I'll be doing tomorrow evening, but I have this strange feeling that I'll be finishing up packing all of the little stuff that's still at my house. F! U! N!
My mind is just racing at the moment, but I don't have all that much to say. I guess I'll go and be the greatest daughter in the world and help my Mother cook dinner. God knows that I could at least watch her cook. Maybe I'd learn something. I can only cook a few dishes. I can cook spaghetti, pot roast, baby back ribs, pork chops, stir fry veggies, and I can now make a pretty damn good omelet. I guess I'm not all that bad of a cook. Just don't ask me to cook you any bacon any time soon.
Oh! I know one thing that I could talk about. Brando has gotten sooo freaking finicky about what he eats lately. When I adopted him, he was just eating the Purina dry food for indoor cats. He was fine with that for the first couple of months. Then he kind of cut back on his eating. I thought it was because he's missing his bottom right tooth. (the pointy one, I don't know what it's called?!) I thought that maybe the crunchy food was hurting his gums. I then started feeding him some canned food. That lasted a little while, then he just stopped eating it. Then I moved on to Starkist tuna. The same thing happened. He loved it at first and then stopped eating it as much. Then yesterday I started feeding him sliced turkey. He couldn't get enough yesterday and this morning. When I went to give him some for dinner, he ate about 4 small pieces and then did not want any more. I'm going to give him a little tuna in the morning and see if he'll eat it. Don't get me wrong; he's still eating a small bit of his crunchy food. I just want him to be able to enjoy other foods. Help me here, people, have I just ruined my cat and got him spoiled rotten and made him extremely finicky or should I be worried? I don't think there is anything to worry about, I think he's just spoiled. Oh, I haven't told you where he sleeps now, under the covers with his head on my pillow. (just like Miss Tigger used to sleep, waaahhh!) Comment if you have any kitty eating tips. They will be much appreciated.
Dick Is Cool
I went to see my new doctor this morning. I really like him. He genuinely seems to give to give a shit. He spent over thirty minutes with me. (Dr. Fucktard only spent, ummm, maybe five.) I'm starting a new medication. We are going to see how it works. I hope that it works well, duh! It's making me feel a little funny, but that's to be expected. He basically told me that we will just try a bunch of meds until we find one that controls these freaking seizures. I feel a little better just knowing that I've got a good doctor that really seems to be trying to help me get this under control where I can lead a normal life.
A "normal" life, ha! I'm not sure if I've ever really led a "normal" life or if I ever will, but I would like to lead a seizure free life. That's for damn sure. I know that my special friend would like it too. We are talking about some pretty serious shit happening in the near future and I don't want to feel sick when it all goes down. I will write more about "it" when I feel more comfortable. I just don't at this particular moment in time. All I can say is that there is a special someone that loves me very much and I think that I may love him even more, if that is possible. All I will tell you now is that he's a wonderful human being and totally completes me. I never thought that I would find a love like this. Actually, I guess, I never thought that I deserved a love like this, but, you know what? I sure as fuck do! I've been letting guys run all over me since the age of 13. I guess after heartache after heartache after heartache that my dumbass has FINALLY wised up and realized that ANY man should be lucky and honored to have me. Trust me, my man knows how lucky he is, as do I. (Ok, I've already said way too much, more later!)
I move into my new place this weekend. I guess that I'm pretty excited. I'm just ready to get "settled" all over again. I have sooo much stuff. I feel anxiety just thinking about unpacking all of it. I'll have it all set up by the end of the weekend. I'm very OCD when it comes to moving into a new place. I won't stop until I have the last picture nailed to the wall. By the time that I'm finished unpacking, it will look as if I've lived there for years. That's just how anal I am when it comes to my space and my stuff. Wish me luck!
I guess that I'm going to go and finish reading my book about this sick ass serial killer. I'm weird like that. I read all of these horrible books about murder and horrible things that have happened to women and then I go and watch things like all of the unsolved murder cases and forensics stuff on the Discovery Channel. Then, I wonder why I stay paranoid. I make myself that way by reading and watching all of this sick shit, but I find the forensics so interesting. Call me crazy! Tell me something that I don't already know.Thank YouWhy did you have to hurt me so badly?Why did you just use me and toss me aside?All I ever did was love you and try to be your loving friend.I know why you did.You did this to me because I let you.Thank you for being just another man to fuck me over.Thank you for helping me to be a strong woman.Thank you for being such an ass to me.Thank you for giving me much bigger balls than you will ever have!Good luck in your new life, really?Good-bye!
Pink Pre-Historic Creatures Are Pretty
Well, my weekend was a ton 'o fun. I got so drunk that I saw a T. Rex, (no shit) and she was hot pink. Pretty cool, huh? I only hope that this weekend is even better. I doubt it will be, but a girl can dream, can't she?
I have my apt. with my new Neurologist in the morning. I hope it goes well. Dr. "Dick" (his name is Richard) is suspossed to go over all of my test results with me that the last Neurologist that I like to refer to as Dr. Fucktard never went over with me. I FINALLY had his office full of bitches (except one gal) send all of my records and test results to Dr. "Dick's" office today. I've only been trying to get them to do that for me for about five weeks now, no shit. I'm just glad that tonight is the last night that I will have to take the drug that I like to call "rat poison" ever again. HOORAY!!!
My Mom went yesterday and got me a new apartment. I move in next week. I must say that I didn't want to move because I felt that I was finally making this house a home, but since the break in, I have been one BIG
anxiety attack. At least my new place is all central air and heat. That will be nice this winter. It has been totally renovated and has all new EVERYTHING. It's 2brs/1bath and seems to be a bit bigger than this place. I'm just ready to get settled someplace and have it feel like home. I'm so sick of this moving back and forth bullshit. My cool Uncle C is also going to be one of my neighbors and I can't tell you how cool that is. (Though I'm sure he'll get sick of seeing sooo much of me. Ha! Ha!)
I've been ever so depressed lately. I just feel like I'm a huge burden to everyone around me. I can't drive, so in order to get anywhere, I have to be picked up and then dropped off. My parents are spending money on me that they don't have to pay for doctors, bills, a new place to live, the list goes on and on. I'm feeling like a big blob that is just taking up space and breathing in air that someone else could use. I know I sound like I'm throwing myself a pitty party here, but that's how I feel and I can't help it. Maybe after seeing Dr. "Dick" tomorrow, I'll feel a bit better. I sure hope so. I'm not sure how long I can go on like this. On that very depressing note, I'm off to try and get some sleep. I'll return in the morning and do a 'lil post on how my visit went.
I Trust NO One
I should have never bragged about how happy I was yesterday. I stayed at my parent's house last night where I could have the house bug bombed. I got home today and found that my front window had been busted and my laptop was gone along with some jewelry. I called the police and they quickly came. The officer said that it looked as if it had happened early this morning. The scariest part is that he said that it was probably someone that I know. He said if it was just a "normal" break in that my house would have looked like a tornado hit it. Everything was in it's place. (except the window) He said that they would have taken the flat screen TV, DVD player, DVD'S, CD'S, my autographed Eric Clapton record, and my autographed Joe Namath helmet. He definitely thought that someone was trying to send me a message. He said that I didn't need to stay there tonight and actually recommended that I move.
I've got news for the burglar, "Come on back tonight, tomorrow, or whenever the hell you want because your going to find a bullet in your ass and I can't wait to put it there! Damn you, you son of a bitch, how dare you bust my fucking window and fuck with my shit? You must have very small balls to pick on a little girl like me, but I will have my revenge and oh how sweet it will be! YOU GOT THAT? ARE YOU READING
?" I dare you to go back! As a matter of fact, I wish you would. I would love to see you bleed, you sissy assed mother FUCKER!
Well, enough about my shitty day! How was yours? I've already found a new place to live. It just pisses me off because I was finally making that house a home. But, shit happens, right? I'm still looking foward to my weekend. It's actually the only thing that has kept me from absolutely loosing it. I just feel sooo violated. My home has been raped. That's what it feels like. Man, I wish I would have been there because I would have shot their ass before they even made it onto my front porch. Who knows, I could be there right now? Come on over, Mother Fucker, and lets finish what you started! I FUCKING
Deep breath! Ok. I hope that all of you have a great weekend. I know I will. I'm sure that I'll have plenty to write about Monday. Maybe the dickless fuck will be in jail by then. He/she made a BIG
mistake and dropped something on the way out. Ooops! Should I have not said that? Anyhew, the police are pretty sure that they can get a finger print off of it. So, GUESS WHAT, you, Mr/Ms. Burglar are fucked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To all of my loyal readers, have a fantastic weekend! I'll be back on Monday with an update. It just amazes me that you can go from feeling ever so good and within 24 hours feel like total shit. But, once again, this is only a little something that will make me a stronger bitch than I already am.
I'm Happy And That Scares Me
Ok, I know, what a weird title, but it's true. I am happy and it does, indeed, scare me. What if my happiness is taken away from me like everything else in my life? I'm going to keep all of you in suspense of why I'm ever so happy until I'm absolutely, possitively sure that it's going to go as wonderful as it seems. Sorry!
I haven't been able to post much lately because with this seizure medicine that I'm currently on, my eyes are constantly dialated. I've got one of those little things that you can talk into. It's really cool. (And sometimes, I try to just wing it and see what happens. Ha! Ha!) I'm doing my best to wing it now. I have an apt. with my new Neurologist on Wednesday. Hopefully, he'll get this whole medication situation straight. I'll feel much better when my life is semi-normal again. I know my family and signifant other will too. I can't wait to be off of what I like to call "the rat poison"! That's what I feel like I've taken when I take this shit.
Not too much going on with me. I'm just painting my little ass off and trying to make money as an artist. You know what? It ain't half bad. I have this one guy that wants me to paint his daughter a HUGE butterfly on a 6x4 canvas for the small price of 2000 dollars!!! Hooray for NN!!! He saw a few photos of previous butterflies that I've done and wanted one for her birthday. Sure thing, Mr.Man! I'm also working on a few more paintings and have others lined up. Maybe my eyes being dialated has helped my art. Ha!
You would be very proud of me, I actually left "the isolation tank" aka house last weekend and went out. I had a very good time. That was until I got home and Eliza was standing at the front door for her monthly visit. I hate that bitch! Hopefully she will not be paying me any visits for a while. (More on that one later!) She'll be coming around until the doctors get my meds in order then I'm sending her to the Bahamas for about 9 months. NO, I'm not pregnant! (More on that later!)
I think that I'm going to leave "the isolation tank" again this weekend to spend a fabulous get-away with a very special male friend. Yes, my significant other! I wasn't quite sure of his feelings for me until just recently. That's why I'm scared because just as fast as they come, they can leave even faster! We are going to spend Thursday-Monday together. I can't wait! I've missed him sooo much, no lie. Once I get home, it's back to painting, and I have my Dr's apt on Wed.
I guess that I'm fixing to go and curl up on the couch with Brando and watch some tv. FUN! It's funny, when I first got him, I wasn't in love with him because he was NOT Tigger! But, now, I couldn't imagine my life without him. It's funny, I've only had him for 4 months and I absolutely adore him. Don't get me wrong, I still miss the hell out of Miss Tigger every day, but he makes life much easier. He's already spoiled rotten. He'll be staying at his Grandparent's house while I'm away. He loves it out there. He likes to look out the window at all of the horses. I think that he thinks they are really big cats or something, but when he's over there, he'll sit in the window all day long and just stare at them. I think that's just too cute.
Wish me luck!