Rest in Peace
Ms. Tigger and I on the happiest day...
I swear this town should be called Salem's Lot because it's full of people that are so nice to your face and just when you turn your back; they're ready to bite your head off. A bunch of blood sucking fucking vampires, I tell you. (vampires/vampliars!?) It seems like the nicer you are to these vampires; the stranger they act. I'm really starting to get to the point where I seriously don't give a FUCK
about people. Not ALL people, just people in general. I think that I have all of three people here that I would go out on a limb and call them true friends. I honestly think that my biggest problem is that I'm the nicest fucking person that I know and that I'm entirely too nice to these fucking vampires. Well, those days are gone. I'm sick of people's bullshit. I'm sick of being a nice person and constantly getting shit on. I'm sick of people being entirely too interested in me and my personal life. I'm sick of bitches being nice to my face and then turning around and calling me "CRAZY".
No shit, I'm fucking crazy! It's you so-called "Normal"
fuckers that freak my shit out. It doesn't matter any longer because I'll no longer be known as the nicest fucking person that you or I know, but I will be known as that crazy fucking bitch from hell! Besides, in my lifetime, I've learned that the meaner you are the nicer others are to you. (And people say that I'm crazy?) I'm telling you, it's Salem's Lot, Man and it's freaky weird!!!
On a totally different note, I'm fixing to quit all things brown. I'm going to try and stop drinking coffee, Dr. Peppers, tea (except for my hot tea), etc. I'm even going to try and quit smoking. AGAIN!
The problems with this plan is that I love, love, love all of these things. Also, with the medication that I'm on, these beverages seem to be the only things keeping me awake these days. Maybe I'll start drinking Mt. Dew (though, I've always hated it.) I'll just go in search of some clear liquid that has plenty of caffeine in it. Don't even get me started on Red Bull, it taste good, but as far as giving me wings of energy, bullshit! My advantage of quitting all things brown would be that I'd have a lot less liquids tanning my teeth.
Just a couple more funny quotes/things I've heard recently/whatevah:
One reason that beer is better than a woman is that beer is always willing to give you a little head
. I know we've all heard it before, but I know a couple of guys who like to give a little head too!
There would have to be a strict contract to what you could and could not do with your penis in my ass.
There are three types of people in this world; those who can count and those who can't.
Mr. O's Daddy
Once you've seen a woman's cum face, you've seen her soul.
One of the guys from Nip/Tuck said that and I thought it was hillarious. I wonder how true it is. My God, I wonder what my cum face looks like. Ewwwww! I shudder to think.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
I saw this on a lighter the other night while buying cigarettes. (I got them to help me quit. Yeah. That's it.) Anyway, I saw the lighter and had to have it and now I do. As a matter of fact I'm fixing to use it now!
Scoop the poop while your cats in the tub!
Strike A Pose
These are just some funny and adorable photos of PS and myself. Enjoy!!!
This is NN and PS. They are bestest friends and are absolutely fabulous, bitch!!!
Look, we live in Mississippi and have all of our teeth! Well, mostly.
I swear that I'm going to quit by the end of the month. I think!?
Oh Baby, a little to the left!
I'm at PS's crack tower and I finally decided to put my photo on here; only b/c I'm here and PS knows how to do this shit b/c I sure as fuck don't! But, this is me, or is it?
We are trying for a CUTE photo, but hell, we're too cute to worry about this shit, right? NO!!
Yes, I know that when I did my last entry that I put Century in the title instead of Decade. I was in a hurry to have it posted by midnight, but hey, sometimes a decade can feel like a century.
Scoop lots of poop! Get the cat poop, horse poop, your poop, ALL of it!
Reflecting On A Decade
I'm having an iced coffee that Miss A just made for me and it is quite good. It's not my usual, but it's just too hot for HOT
coffee. I must admit that it is a nice 70 something degrees with a sky full of dark clouds because the rain is coming and it's going to POUR!! I came here to just have a little time to myself and attempt to get my brain straight. (Good luck, right?)
I had a fun evening last night. PS, BB, and I went and played this little trivia game that they have on Tuesdays at one of our local bar/restaurants. It was much fun. Once again, we came in second to last. We're damn determined to win one of these days. It may be years from now, but WE WILL WIN ONE DAY DAMN IT!!! (probably not, heeee!!!) To me, it's not about winning, it's about having fun!
I can't help, but reflect back that it was 10 years ago today that Pepe and I went on our first date. My how SO
many things can change in 10 years. He was my best friend and I miss the shit out of that. We have always had the best conversations and I miss them too. It makes me feel my age because he took me to see The Crow
. (I was going through my gothic all black wearing phase and loved that movie. Brandon Lee was a beautiful person. Bless his soul.) Anyway, I guess that I'm feeling kind of sad today thinking back on all of the good and the bad times that we've shared over the past 10 years. We grew up together. I mean, I had been 18 for all of 3 months when we started dating and he was just 21. He watched me grow from a clueless teenager into the woman that I am today. I've watched him grow from doing nothing with that massive brain of his that simply knows everything about everything to be well on his way to becoming, Dr. Pepe. (Pharmacist) I'm not going to go on about the good, the bad, the ugly, or the beautiful. That would be the world's longest entry. But, there really were some damn good times. Pepe will be in my heart for the rest of my life. You just can't be with someone for that long and not keep them in your heart, unless you're a shitty fuck!! There truly were some wonderfully, beautiful, funny times that I will NEVER
forget. We had it all (our future) planned out. My how SO
many things can change in 10 years.
I want nothing, but the best for him. Unfortunately, that isn't me. Now, if I can just get my life in order, all will be right in the world. It's a very s-l-o-w process, my friends.
Pepe, if you're reading, it has been an honor growing up with you. I really mean that will all my heart!
**HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRASIER!!!!** I hope that you had a grrrreat day and may all of your wishes (well, maybe not ALL. He! He!) come true!!
Horny For Super Heros
I don't know if it's the outfits or their super powers or what, but they turn me on. I have just recently reconized this horniness for them, but I guess that it has always been there.
I remember when I first saw Superman at a very young age that I was oddly attracted to him. Now, as I look back Christopher Reeves, Clark Kent a.k.a. Superman was pretty damn sexy. MEOW!!!
The tight outfit that he wore was just too hot. When he would rip those silly Clark clothes off and change into Superman, WOW! The way he would save people while still managing to look calm, in control, and extremely sexy totally hooked me. I still get a little tingle down under when I see Superman to this day.
Ok! Ok! For all of my regular readers, y'all know how I feel about Hugh. To the new ones, he is (to me) the purrrfect specimen of a male. Anyway, he is also a Super Hero. Though I would like to see Hugh Jackman, Logan a.k.a. Wolverine with better hair. I know that it's suspose to look that way. Afterall, he is playing Wolverine not The Gay Blade. He is still sexy as all get out. He could shave his head for all I care. I'd still do him in a New York minute. My favorite was in X-Men 2 when he flipped through the air and killed an evil fucker with each hand/claw/whatever. MEOW!!!
Having sex with Wolverine would be kind of risky. You know when he gets too excited the claws come out. I guess that I would just have to break out the hand cuffs and have my way with him. Heee!!! Wolverine's outfit isn't quite Superman or Spiderman, but when he finally gets to wear his leather/pleather/whatever, all I have to say is WOW!
Alright now, I never really thought Spiderman was oh-so-sexy. That was until I saw Tobey Maguire, Peter Parker a.k.a. Spiderman on Oprah the other day. I've seen the first Spiderman, but really didn't pay too much attention. Damn, Tobey in that tight, tight, sexy latex outfit with that nothing, but muscle body and that purrrfect ass. MEOW!!!
(I've since watched Spiderman like 4 times. Some parts had to be watched in slow motion.) When he was on Oprah, he was talking about the making of the outfit. He said that he had to lay still for hours while someone poured liquid latex all over him to get it just right. (I'm saddened by the fact that I'm almost 30 and have just figured out what I want to do as a career. I want to be the "latex girl"!) What a grrreat job! I'm scared to death of spiders, really, big or small if I see one, I totally freak. But, Spiderman could come and spin a web around me any time he wanted!!!
Don't even get me started on Batman. There are just too many and I haven't got the time to talk about each one, but yet again, what sexy outfits they wore.
Yes, all of these actors are extremely sexy, but maybe it's that "Oh save me!"
woman in the back of my mind. I don't know what it is, but the get me hot. I don't know if this makes me a horny old pervert of what, but I am Horny For Super Heros!!!
This really has nothing to do with Super Heros, but I've always had this thing for men in baseball uniforms. (I guess some people would call them heros.) It's not as much that I like them as much as I like their pants. There is just something about those pants that can make almost anyone look like they have a grrreat ass. Don't get me wrong, I love baseball. My fav-o-rite player is Randy Johnson a.k.a. The Big Unit. I love almost all sports, but that is not the point. My friends laugh at me because I've been known to say a time or two that if I were ever Mayor, Governor, President, or even The Fashion Police that I would pass a law that every Sunday by at least 1pm, all men would have to wear baseball pants for the remainder of the day. This would give them plenty of time to go to church with their families, eat lunch/brunch, screw their mistresses and be home in plenty of time to "suit up!"
You know that you're horny now just after reading this. If not, just think, if I were the "latex girl", I could make an outfit for myself and one for my future girlfriend. Imagine that as you masturbate. I know I will. So go now and "do your thing" and have a grrreat weekend!!!
Here are a few quotes/things I've read/heard/whatever that I wanted to add to the list of quotes. Oh, yes, I've written my Horny For Super Heros entry. I'm just not in the mood to type it now. Maybe later. I doubt I sleep much tonight anyway. Here goes.
Just remember...I'm like Jesus...You've still got a friend in Fraiser! (by Fraiser
, of course)
If you just wanted to fuck me all you had to do was say so! By Erica
I'm finding myself here lately thinking that most people suck. And unless you have a penis in your mouth that is a bad thing. Why do we lie? Why do we even try? What in the fuck is the point? How do you ever REALLY get to know someone? I have none of these answers for you, but I am proud to say that as of this very moment I AM A LESBIAN!
I will never allow a man to hurt me ever again. EVER!!! Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for some butch bitch. I want a sexy little petite gal like myself. I only hope that she doesn't mind that I don't eat pussy because it sure as hell doesn't smell like chicken; so I seriously doubt it taste like it! Yes, I'm a fucking idiot. I've been used and should have never let any of it happen.
Scoop the poop, all of it!!
Funny Quotes And Good Adivce
I've been a paradise, but I've never been a me!
from Absolutely Fabulous
Never trust a naked bus driver.
in Anything Else
It's hotter than two rats fucking in a sock!
(and yes, i know he's not the first to say this, but he's the first person that i've ever heard it from.)
Don't give up the ship, but be patient. No two people work at the same speed.
Oh Darling, the sniveling little bitch has written a piece of shit! That's all.
from Absolutely Fabulous
If I ever get married again; I want her to love the shit out of some Popeye's!
It's not cheating if you're with two girls because they kind of cancel each other out.
Some guy from Road Trip
No, of course I like you. It's because I like you, I don't want to be with you.
from Finding Nemo
(yes, i'm a little behind. i just saw it sat.) How wonderful of a quote is that? I think that I've been told that before. Heee!!!
Finally, I guess this isn't a quote, but it really fucking cool.
The Wrath of Chacka Chann
, what a fucking awesome name for a band!
I do have an entry that I'm dying to do. It will have to be later today, because my tired ass needs to go to bed. I will tell you that it has to do with the fact that I'm horny for Super Heros.
Let me be your latex girl, PLEASE!!!!!!
Is It In His KISS?
I can't sleep so I'm just going to rant and feel sorry for myself; so if you don't think that you want to read this, than don't!!!
In the past couple of weeks I've been wondering why anyone would want to be with me or even hang out. I don't feel that I have too much offer anyone. (FRIENDS
, family,etc.) You know, it's like one minute you're on cloud 9, then you've just landed yourself in the mud with wet overalls. I guess that is how I'm feeling right now. I'm really just wondering what I'm doing here.
I feel the hermit in me slowly coming out. I'm getting to the point where I don't think that I even want to leave the house. I mean, REALLY, would I be missed? I seriously doubt it. (If any of my so-called FRIENDS
think that I would be missed; let me know b/c I'm totally not feeling you!)
I'm just wondering if I'll ever truly find happiness. One day, I think that I've got it. Then the very next day, IT IS GONE!
I just wish that someone/anyone could tell me what's wrong with me. All I've ever wanted out of life is just a little fucking happiness. Every time that it seems that I've found some, WRONG!
I'm just way fucking depressed at this particular moment. Forgive me!
Scoop the poop!
I'm not only the nicest fucking person that I know, I'm the weirdest. This is a funny story that happened to me months ago, but I'm just now getting around to it. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the restroom and there was brown stuff all over the sheets. I thought to myself, "I know that I didn't crap in the fucking bed!" I went to the restroom and NO
, I didn't shit in the bed, but what in the hell was that stuff all over the bed? As I was getting ready to go back to bed, I was standing in front of the mirror when I turned and noticed that there was a Lindst
truffle label stuck to my ass!! Y'all know how much I LOVE my chocolate in the middle of the night, but that was a bit much!
There was this one time when I was still living with Pepe that I had a sticky accident with Gatorade. I had a HUGE bottle of orange Gatorade on the bedside table and started pouring it all over the table. Pepe asked me what in the hell I was doing. I replied, "cleaning!" He told me to stop, but I kept on pouring. He then took it away from me. Oh, but I had a secret bottle of "orange cleaner" on the floor and started to clean again. Pepe finally got me out of my sleep state and woke my ass up. Once I figured out what I'd done, I felt like the biggest idiot, but it was classic NN.
Does anyone else out there think that Paul Stanley is a drag queen? Another entry for another day. Have a grrrreat weekend!!! To all of the freaky fucks reading this and trying to get an insight on me and my personal life, good luck!!
Good Times Are To Be Had By At Least 3am
I don't know about any of you guys, but my day started off with a bang!! I'm kind of freaking out right now because everything (well, never everything) seems to be going my way. I can say that most of my relationships are wonderful. I have some grrrreat friends that adore me, as I do adore them. I've gotten lucky and found a source of income. I've been out and about today looking for a new place to live. Heeeee!!!! For the first time in a LONG time, my life really seems like it's coming together, but, no I will not marry you. But, thanks for asking! Ask again later. PLEASE!!
**This is just a little note to my readers. This journal is all about ME, not you. If you read anything here and think that it's about you, more than likely, it is not! I had a reader who is my good friend read an entry and I had made a reference to something and he thought that it was about him. It most definitely was not. You are no prick!!**
Going To The Chapel?
OK. I'm going to try this one again. I did it last night/this morning and fucking blogger deleted it. If it happens this time, you may not hear from me for a while, for my "Precious" may be dead.
I was just ranting about this whole marriage thing. Since I've moved home, it seems that EVERYONE that I know is either engaged, married, divorced, or desperately looking for someone to marry. Have the bartenders been secretly putting something in the beer? Please, if you are, keep it out of mine. M'kay!
Oh yes, and there is either a wedding or an engagement party EVERY fucking weekend. (which reminds me, I need to go buy a wedding present) Grrrr!!!! I guess that mostly everyone that I see on a regular basis is either in their 30's or coming up on them. Why does 30 do this to people? I guess that people feel old and that they do not want to be alone for the rest of their lives, so they get married. You just don't understand, I've ran into complete psychopaths that are walking around sporting engagement rings. Talk about CRAZY! There was not a man within 100 miles that would date these women years ago. They just marry them now.
No, I'm not jealous. If I ever end up getting married, groovy, if not, I will just date forever. I'm not one of these women that is going to go out with the intensions of "finding a man". I would much rather be found by someone that truly loved me and live in sin forever than end up married just for the sake of getting married. To me, the only cool thing about getting married would be that I could register. (maybe I could find a way around that) I know that I've told you this before, but my idea of the purrfect relationship would be someone that I could have Sundays with. First, you wake up and have lots of sex. Then you're hungry, so you go have a good brunch and do things like read the paper or write in your journal, but there doesn't have to be any unnecessary babble. Then you go home and have more sex. (you can never have too much sex, can you?) Then I would do something fun like play in my flower beds and garden and if I'd finally been found by Mr. Wonderful, he'd be out there with me.Then, of course, more sex!
I must say one thing. If I ever do end up getting married, I will not have a BIG wedding. I will not do it Sam I am. I've always said that I would go to Vegas and get married by Elvis, but I think the whole seclusion on the beach thing sounds cool. I wouldn't care if anyone was there except Mr. Wonderful. If you are so in love with someone, why bother with the whole circus for the sake of you're family? Why not just do what you want?
I'm so upset that I lost the one that I did last night because I sounded much more bitchy than I do here, so, fuck off!!
Fuck Off Blogger
Why don't you get you're happy ass over here and change my litter box?
Scoop The Poop!
Touring With The Dead
I just got home from PS watching the Stanley Cup Finals and it was grrrreat!!!!!! Tampa Bay won 2-1 against Calgary. Both teams played an awesome series, I must say, but only one team can win. I think the best team did. OH! Let me say Happy Birthday to my fav-o-rite hockey player Mike Modano from the Dallas Stars. I know he's reading and I didn't want him to think that I forgot. Yeah, right!
I, like many others, am saddened by the passing of our 40th President, Ronald Reagan, this past Saturday. But, is it really necessary to take him on tour? First, they left the funeral home and drove him to the Reagan Library. His shell will be appearing for all to see (well, not really b/c it's a closed casket, but you get my point)at the Library until tomorrow at 6pm. (If you're in the neighborhood, you should go check him out.)You can say that you say the Reagan Dead Tour of 2004.
*For all of you non-hippie pot heads that don't know groovy music, that was a reference to The Grateful Dead touring without Jerry.I was talking to this chic the other day and she was telling me that she and her husband had seen them a few times. They played the CD for me and it sounded really cool, but, to me, you can no longer see The Grateful Dead b/c JERRY IS DEAD!!!! Fuck, people, tour under a different name. If you play you're music, your followers will come. Oh well, I have nothing else to say about that. I'm getting far too excited!!*
Back to Ronnie, I REALLY do not mean any disrespect about his passing. First of all, he had a fucking fabulous life. My God, he started out as a sports caster. He then became an actor. (I must say that I can't name one of his movies.) He then went on to become Governor of California. Then he became our 40th President in 1980. He spent two terms in the White House. He was loved by many. I must say that I feel for Nancy. Could you imagine being with someone for that long and then they are gone? It was so sad today when they showed her putting her head on the coffin and then rubbing it. I guess saying good-bye. She has been watching him suffer with his Alzeimer's for 10 years now. In a way, it is good that she doesn't have to watch him suffer, but what will she do without him? She'll probably die? He was 93, so, I'm guessing that she is pretty fucking old too. Most of the time, when a couple has been together for that long and one passes, the one left behind passes within the next year or two. Weird huh?
I will be honest with you. I didn't vote for Reagan. I was 4 when he was elected and not yet registered to vote. Ha! Ha! (She tried to make a joke.) It is sad to me b/c in a way that is like part of my childhood dying too. When I was a little one in Catholic school, I remember that we would always watch him talking on TV. To me, he was just this Grandpa looking man that made sure that we never went to war. I'm sure that there are people out there that are much older than me that could tell you more, but I was young. I do remember being at school and watching the Challenger go up. That was awful. Then our loved Ronnie came on with this very moving speech (that he did not write, but delivered so well) to make us all feel better. He was a good speaker, I guess that acting finally paid off. Anyway, Mr. President, rest in peace, you've definitely earned it.
Scoop the poop!!
Are You Horny?
I wrote this while watching the Stanley Cup finals, so I'm just going to type it as I was writing it in my journal. M'kay!
I'm just sitting here with Tigger watching the Stanley Cup finals and I just had the weirdest thought. (We are now in OT. This is one of the best games that I've seen in a while.)
Anyway, back to my weird thought. I wonder if animals still get horny after they've been neutered, fixed, whatevah! My Mom has a horse that is no longer a stud, but every time one of the females (mares) goes into heat, he tries to fuck them. I find that sad because you know that he couldn't possibly "get off". I guess with males it is just their instinct to try and fuck anything and everything. (Ok, I know that was a rude statement, but you know it's true. Every now and then there is an exception, but not often.)
I was brushing Tigger's hair and she started grooming herself. She then proceeded to clean her hoo-hah area. That is when I started to wonder if she ever got horny. If she does, that rules that she has the ability to go down on herself. (YOGA! PEOPLE! YOGA!) I just don't want her doing it in front of me, I may get jealous. (Kitty Porn! Heeee!!!)
I guess it would be like a man that couldn't get it up and had to take Viagra. In a way, it's like he's been fixed. Yet, he is still horny. Obviously so or he would not be paying 10 dollars a pill for that shit. I just think that it would totally suck if you got horny, but couldn't have an orgasm. If any of you are suffering from this problem, I'll keep you in my prayers.
Speaking of the big "O",
I have met so many people that say that they have never had one. OH MY GOD!!!
Could you imagine? I mean, I understand not having one EVERY time, but NEVER. Hell, I get all pissed off and frustrated if I don't have one every time.
There should be a free masturbation course provided for these women. Trust me, if your man/woman can't get the job done for you, you can. Would I lie to you? I mean really, I had an orgasm when I lost my virginity and I've been having them every since. (Praise the Lord!)
I'm finding myself horny watching this hockey game. Ha! Ha! Think badly of me, I so don't care. There are a bunch of big sweaty pumped up men skating around with their "big sticks" chasing the puck. (which conviently rhymes with fuck) And oddly enough the puck is round and shaped like a BIG "O"!!
Well, shit, Tampa lost, but we still have hope for Saturday. Go Team Go!!!
No Chicken For Me, Thanks
There is really not much going on these days. I guess that I'm starting to get used to this medication. It still makes me very tired, but I'm not sleeping ALL
day anymore. (I now only sleep half of my day away! Ha!)
I almost feel like starting a new blog. There are a few things that I would like to discuss, but there are certain people that I would prefer not to read. It seems that I have a few more people that I know reading than I would like. Oh well, if these people are really that interested in my life and what I'm doing daily, maybe they should just get a life themselves!?
? and I went to a friend's birthday celebration last night. It was just a few people. I didn't know any of them, but they were all very nice. It was a good time. There is this really cool bar/restaurant here that almost reminds me of The Helix. (as far as decor goes) I then tried my best to pick up a hooker in Grand Theft Auto, but was unsuccessful. This upset me because you all know that I'm slowly turning into a lesbian. A lesbian looking for love. Ain't it sweet?
What exactly is a date? Is it defined as someone picking you up, (flowers in hand) taking you out for dinner and seeing a movie? (like high school) Could it just possibly be going out and getting shit faced drunk and having sex? A friend and I were talking about this earlier. While she was thinking that a date was more like the high school stuff, I was thinking that it was more along the lines of hanging out with someone that you honestly have a good time with. I mean any prick can bring you flowers and take you out to dinner. Then again, any prick can take you out and buy your drinks. I think that there are many things that could count as a date, but it should definitely be more about who you're with rather than what you're doing. Then again, what you end up doing could be having one hell of a good time! (Not that I know anything about this, but I do have opinions, strong ones!!)