Rest in Peace
Ms. Tigger and I on the happiest day...
I've Fallen Hard
This was written at 9:10am yesterday morning.
I just woke up and put in a CD. I then started working on the painting that I started last night. As I was painting our (mine and Miss Tigger's) song came on. So, I was then crying as I was painting. THEN, I just burst into tears. Miss Tigger has been gone 7 months yesterday and I didn't remember. I ALWAYS remember. God, I still miss her soo much! I wish she was here!
I quickly ran into the livingroom and grabbed Brando that weighs 12 lbs. I'm going to get him up to 15 lbs if it kills me.I took the U2 CD out and put in our song and we had a good dance and a good cry. I must say, The Godfather made me feel much better. He loves me, I know it! I love him too!
The whole thing about Miss Tigger is that NO ONE understands. Everyone is just like, she was just a cat! No, she was not! She was my baby and my best friend! I called my Mom to talk to her about my forgetting. She didn't say this, but she may have well. "Oh well, shit happens! Can I call you back? I'm on the other line with someone much more important?"
I'm becoming soo very depressed lately. I'm usually not like this at all. I just feel that I have no true friends. I mean, I have Brad and Liz, but would they be my friends if we didn't live 10 Ft away from eachother? I'm starting to feel like a prisoner in a very nice prison. I have frequent visits from my family that may last anywhere from 5-10 minutes.
It's like last night, my Dad came to drop off some Tidy Cat for me. We changed the box and put it in the can outside. We then put it out by the street. He stayed and we hung out and had a beer together. I was showing him my latest project. I went to walk him out to the truck and HH was sitting in there the whole time listening to her damn Houston Astros. I mean, would it have killed her to come in and give me a hug and say hello? Guess so!
I guess I'm just throwing myself a little pitty party here. I know that my life could be a hell of a lot worse than it is, but how much of this bullshit do I have to take before something good happened or I just go to sleep and never wake up? You tell me, PLEASE, comment, I'd love to hear what you have to say!!! I hate to say it, but I'm so depressed that I just want to lock myself in my cute little prison and see how long it takes before someone comes to visit me. I don't know if I've ever been this unhappy!
I Don't Know If It's Ever Been This Bad
I don't have much time to post. I'm at my Uncle's house. I find myself more depressed now more than I think than I have been in my entire life. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I have no life and NEVER will. I just feel that I'd be better off dead! Wanna comment, go for it, or not? I can see why you wouldn't want to. I'll try to continue this post later. I just wanted to let y'all know that I've fallen so deep that I'm not even sure if I can get myself out of here.
Thanks For The Gift Katrina, Mice! What Ever Happened To Giving Alcohol Or Shoes?
Written on 9-26-05 at 3:20 pm
Well Brando found the mousehole today. It's the hole that the toilet pipe goes into. He just stood in front of it and growled at it. I was just like ok. Good job! Well, just a few moments ago, I was standing in the bathroom fixing my hair in front of the mirror. All was good in the world until this freaking mouse comes running out of my bedroom and ran right in front of me and into the hole that Brando had found. I didn't have time to scream. I just went and found some paper to stuff the hole with, in my sketck book. I also stuffed every hole under the sink and so on.
I then called my landlord and asked him if he thought that there was anything we could do about this. He said yes and came by after work. He asked me if I thought that they could be coming in through the back door. It has a very small crack in it. I told him that I thought that even that was too small. That was until I was sitting on the loveseat and saw a small mouse run from my room to the art studio. That was it, I'd had it ! I was going to kill it, but I could not find it. I then saw it run from my studio and go into a small crack on the floor. (One much smaller than the on on the back door.)
Man, all I want to do right now is take a nap, but I'm sooo afraid to wake up to more gifts from Brando. I'm not sure if I told you about that or not. I was asleep on the couch (thank God, I sleep in a ball and am tiny) and woke up. I saw what I thought were two of Brando's play mice on the couch. Something just told me to turn on the light. When I did, I found not one, but two dead mice on the end of the couch. Thanks Brando!!!
9-27-05What Is It With Me And Mice?
OK, you know how I told you about the mouse problem? I've had a little over 3 hours sleep since yesterday after seeing the mice. I'm scared to use my bathtub. I had to go over to Liz's to take a shower because I would die if I were rinsing my hair of to look down and see a mouse in the tub with me. We'd have to change the name from cats in the tub to mental patients in the tub!
Ok, the landlord, Mickey Mouse, stopped by yesterday. He said that he was going to fix the area around the pipes and now the back door. He said that he'd be there thurs. To fix it. I'm sorry, nothing against him, but these places are not cheap and should already be fixed.I stayed up all night just listening to that damn mouse stuck in the wall. I watch the tele for a while. I then watched X-Men 1.5 and X-Men 2.
I called Mickey (landlord, not mouse) and told him that I had sticky traps EVERYWHERE! I really feel as if I'm going crazy at night. That's when they start moving around the most. Thank god that he's coming tomorrow. I don't think that I can take anymore of this. I may be forced to come and sleep over here. I'm sure that they would love that. Ha! Ha!
I'm going with Liz to the doctor in the morning. We are then coming back here to cut my hair. (I love that I've made a friend that lives like 10ft. away, is a licenses cosmentologist, and is cutting my hair for free. Ain't nothing wrong with that!) I'll let you know how it turns out. (Well, it's now wed, she just cut it and I have a cute little little bob. I love it!)
Anyhew, why are the mice fucking with me? I've always loved them. I mean Mickey (not the landlord) is my favorite, but I don't discriminate. I like Speedy and I love Mighty Mouse. I've got the coolest Mighty Mouse t-shirt in the world.
I've been collecting Mickey Mouse dolls, blankets, snow globes, tea pots, magnets, you name it. I've been collecting my entire life. My first toy was a stuffed Mickey doll that I still have, of course. For heaven's sake, when I got my first bed, it had Mickey sheets and pillow cases. I still sleep on that same pillow and pillow case every night. I even lost my virginity laying on that pillow. How about them apples? I guess after over 25 years of being slept on, it's quite comfy.
I guess that they are mad at me for all of the years of feeding them to our snakes. I'm sorry guys. It wasn't my favorite thing to do. I don't do it anymore, but you guys have just got to remember:; circle of life, guys, circle of life! Sorry!
By the way, my hair looks fantastic!!!!!!!!
"The Heart Has Its Reasons In Which Reason Knows Nothing" Blaise Pascal
Written at 1:45pm
Yes, I was watching Someone Like You AGAIN!!!
I'm not going to get to watch my JETS
game. I might as well veg out and watch Hugh all day. Correct? Thought so!
Well, Rita didn't do much damage to my part of town. We're just getting lots of rain and tornadoes. That's really no biggie, that's just Mississippi weather for ya. I just feel so very badly for New Orleans. I mean, This doesn't look like it will be the last hurricane. I hate this! For as long as I can remember (being that that I was born and raised in La.) I could always take off and run to New Orleans for the weekend. (even back in high school) It was great! I just wonder if it will ever be the same. I sure as hell hope so. OK! OK! OK! I'm sick of hurricane talk!
I'm now giving myself a Burt's Bees Wax facial. I'm now giving myself a marshmallow facial peel. (smells good, we'll see) It's almost time to take it off....Oh yeah, I took it off and I feel as if I actually got some of that damn glass out of my face. It feels great!!! I too, feel great! I must be on my way now to finish watching more Hugh. It's almost at my favorite part. I know that you all know what part that is, when he's in his undies. I just love it! Yummy!!! I guess these movies are the only movies keeping me happy these days considering that I'm BORED AS HELL!!!
5:30pm Wasn't Bored For For Long!
There was a tornado warning for the city that I live in earlier. I was watching the tele. and heard the sirens go off. I then put it on the local weather channel. They said that a tornado had been spotted just a few miles away from where I live.
OK, now, I'm scared shitless, but, I must remain calm. I quickly grabbed Brando and we went and hit in our little shelter that I made for us in the spare bedroom closet. The floor has a pet taxi to put him in, but today he stayed in my lap. It's full of bags of my summer clothes that were on each side of us. It's also full of blankets and pillows and above us are my fall clothes. Ironic, if anything were to fall on us, it would be my fall clothes. How funny is that?
OK! After a very eventful good 45 minutes in the closet, I'm now over at Brad and Liz's house using their computer. We all just have a terrible need to get drunk and I think we are. (even the chicken) This is suspossed to be going on all week. How fantabulous is that?
And The EMMY Goes To...
!!! Yes, my husband won an Emmy last night. I just wanted to do a quick entry. I've been using my neighbors, Liz and Brad's, computer. They are getting ready to go to Gatlinburg, TN. for a wedding. I don't want to sit here and just use their computer and not visit.
My next entry will be one filled with sex, drugs, and plenty of rock and roll. Have a grrreat week everyone. I think that your all swell!!!
Can I PLEASE Have Some Good Luck For A Change?
Tuesday afternoon, my neighbor Logan, myself, and her beautiful little girl Julianna were on our way to the store when we were ran off the road. It looked like a work truck. He was in our lane and Logan quickly swerved off the road to avoid hitting him. We hit a tree instead. (on my side) I had glass stuck all in my face, still do. My ear was cut, well sliced at the very top, very badly. It was just gushing blood. My hand would fill up like water. I would then dump it out and put it back on my ear. It would then then quickly fill up again. I was lucky that I just happened to be wearing my glasses or I'm sure that I would have glass in my eyes.
Anyway, my face looks like it's been attacked by 10,000 kittens went to the the emergency room and they stiched up my ear and told me that the glass would come out of my face in time. They are so fucking sweet there. They gave me a prescription for Naproxen which is basically the generic version of alewife told them, no thanks, I have Aleve at home.
I called Dr. Dick today and told him what had happened have not had a moment's rest since this all happened. He called me in a muscle relaxer. I just took 2 about 30 minutes ago. I must say that my head is feeling better already. I'm going to go home and eat a little something in a little while. Then, exactly an hour later I'm going to take an Ambien (I have to take it on an empty stomach.) to make sure that I get some rest tonight.
So, that is how my week has been going! How about yours? If you have any bad luck, send it my way. I seem to be getting lots of it these days. To all of my loyal readers, have a fantabulous weekend and I wuv you!!!
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Yeah Right!!!
I'm not finished writing about Katrina yet. I just don't have the energy this evening. Just as I'm not finished writing the Tigger chronicles either. I just haven't felt up to it. BUT!
I had a major break through the other night. Liz was over and we watched the Miss Tigger video together. I didn't even use one Kleenex. Don't get me wrong, I cried, but, it wasn't a total emotional breakdown like it usually is. I was quite proud of myself. It has been nearly 7 months since she passed away. I just wonder sometimes if I'll ever truly be over her.
OH!!!! Brando and I now have a song. It's, How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?
by the Bee Gees. We were listening to them the other night and it just came to me that he was my way of mending my broken heart. So, that is now our song. Are we pathetic or what?
On that note, and the fact that I have a headache from hell, I'm going to leave you now. I'll be back just as soon as my little fingers will let me. To all of my friends out there, have a fabulous week!
Has Everyone Forgotten About Missississippi Or What?
Don't get me wrong, I was born and raised in Louisiana and seeing and hearing about what has happened in New Orleans has broken my heart. But, has the news, media, whomever forgotten about the Gulfcoast and Biloxi. IT IS GONE!!!
They are still finding dead bodies, as they are in the Big Easy. This just saddens me so deeply because our state was effected by the storm all the way to the northern part of the state. I'm just so damn sick of everytime I turn on the TV, all they are talking about is New Orleans. Once again, don't get me wrong. It will NEVER
be the same down there. I'm going to miss the hell out of it. I'm also going to miss the hell out of Biloxi.
There have been several people from the south (anywhere the storm hit) that have dropped off their animals here to the rescue center and said that they would be back for them. They have yet to return. This whole tragedy is breaking my heart. To see people that live right down the street from me that are now homeless because of this is totally heartbreaking. I just wish that there was something more that I could do.
I have gone to local Vets. to see if they will donate supplies that are needed for the horses that are staying here. We gathered a few supplies. I only hope that it helps. This is just a devasting desaster. All I ask of you is that you donate to the Red Cross. If everyone out there just donated a dollar, you just don't know how much it would help those in need of your help. Believe me, there are thousands. By the time they get threw counting all of the dead bodies, it is going to more than triple the tragedy of Sept. 11th.
On a very depressing note, I must leave you now. I am baby sitting the most beautiful baby boy in the world. Pray for us!
My Experience With Katrina
Written on Aug. 30, 2005 at 8:30p.m.
(The Hurricane came through yesterday, but I'm starting my writings with the day after there aftermath.)
I'm sitting here at my apartment all of my candles lit and an old oil lantern burning. I just finished off my last bottle of Merlot and have just drank my last beer. Now all have left is semi-cold water that I put in the freezer before the power went out yesterday at about 1:30pm. They say that we'll be lucky to have it on by the weekend. It could even be as late as Sept. 10-14th. I guess that I'll just sit here, (hot as hell) Chainsmoke, and tell you about my experience with Katrina.
It started to rain pretty hard early yesterday morning at about 4am and just progressively got worse. Thank God, my house, my parent's house, my friend's and neighbor's homes were also unharmed!!!There were HUGE oak trees in my front yard that were just snapping like damn toothpicks. They were falling down left and right. (barely missing my house, I'm so lucky.) I went outside to run to my uncle C's house, at one point, I felt like Dorothy, but I can assure you that I was not in Oz. We had winds up to 90mph. It was absolutely crazy. It finally died down about 7pm.
I didn't want to leave my house that night because of the cat and the fact that everything that I own was there. It wasn't a bad night. (not after a bottle of merlot, ha! ha!)
I guess what I'm saying is that I wasn't scared to be there alone. Most of my neighbors were home as was my Uncle. Tonight, it's only the Godfather and myself. My Uncle went to Monroe to stay with family members. All of the other neighbors have left to either go to shelters or stay with what family did have electricity. So...Tonight, I'm terrified to be here alone. I do have a pretty powerful machine gun just in case someone decides to fuck with me. Oh, I really, really hope that no one decides to. I really don't feel like killing anyone after all of this.
My Dad has electricity at his office. So, he, HH, and my Grandmother are on their way there. My Mom is at her house all alone and crazy. She is suspossed to come by and check on me on her way down to my Dad's office. I'm sure she'll try to get me and Brando to go with her, but the office is small enough and I'd just rather stay home and stick it out. I'm sure we'll be ok. We'll be hot as hell and my sinuses will be killing me, but, I'm just praying that we'll be ok!
I think that tomorrow after I get my seizure medicine refilled that Mom, Brando, and myself are going to take off to Louisiana until the power is back on. This is absolute torture. Though, it could have been a hell of a lot worse. Thank you, God! At least my house is still standing. That's a lot more than most Mississippians have. I am so very thankful that no one that my family or any of my friends were hurt during this Hurricane. I have so much to be thankful for. I love you, Pepe! I just wish that I had someone that could come and spend the night with me. Hell, they could bring alcohol and we could just sit up and play board games all night or just talk. Sounds like a good plan, but there are no candidates. Even if there were, I'd have no way of calling them. Hell, even if I could drive to get beer, wine, ice, etc. I'd have to drive like 30 miles away from here to get it and that's not counting how long it would take just to wait on ice. This man shot his own sister in the head and killed her the other day over a fucking bag of ice. Is that some shit or what?
I'll probably end up sitting up all night where I can keep my lantern and candles lit. That way, for any little thieves out there, it will look like someone is home. *Oh, don't even get me started on cleaning out my refrigerator!* I had just spent over 100 dollars on groceries and now all I have to show for it is some bottled water and a loaf of bread.
Well, my Mom just came by and said that it was way TOO HOT
to stay at her house and that she way on her way to my Dad's office. She wanted me to go, but I felt much safer now that I saw that my neighbors Brad and Liz were home. They were on their way over. Not only were they on their way over, they were bringing vodka, mixers, ICE, and a portable DVD player. So, I think we'll be cool. (not as in cold, but as in swell)
After a few drinks, things are much better. We are now listening to Pink Floyd's Dark Side Of The Moon. (Good times! Good Times!) Brad is trying to call the people that he got his DVD player from because they left out his remote. I'm just laughing at him, like his damn phone is going to work. Heee!!!
Neighbors just went home and I just took a little dark bath and brush my teeth before I sit down to smoke my last pack of smokes. (Speaking of, I should light up really quick. Ahhh!!!) Yummy! I think that I'll actually be able to get a few hours of sleep now knowing that they are next door. Brando has had no problem in that department. He's been sleeping all damn day! Oh, to be a pampered house cat! Man, if there is reincarnation, Dear God, please remember what a good pet owner that I have been and still am.
The word going around now is that we'll be lucky to have our power on by mid Sept. Now, that sucks the big one. I could handle it if :
1. My phone was working.
2. I had a case of Big Ass Merlot!
3. It wasn't 200 degrees outside!
I'm really not too sure if I can handle this for nearly two weeks or longer. Pray for me. I need all I can get!
Anyhew, I got myself a a good little buzz going. (feeling groovy) I thought that you'd appreciate knowing that! My family is safe as am I and the Godfather. So, now I must say goodnight/morning and try to get at least a few hours of sleep in. Brando is already one step ahead of me.
I just need to go and smoke my pack of cigs. and blow out all of this fire I have going on in here. Then, I'm going to try my damnest to go to sleep!
Alrighty than, that was about 12 pages that I had written in my journal just on the 30th. I have lots more to type.(like 60 pages) Examples: PURINA sucks ass, animals, and humans are being treated like total shit down here. I'll get to all of that later. Right now, my ass is tired from sitting in this chair and typing for an hour plus I'm tired. But, but, but, but...we just happened to stop by my house today to grab some clothes and the lights were on. Thank the Lord! I think that I'm fixing to go and take a very long hot (not too hot, ha! ha!) bath in my own tub and continue with this later.I'd like to thank all of my concerned readers, for thinking of me in this time of crisis. You know, I'm fine. It's going to take more than a Hurricane to bring me down. I love you all!!!