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Friday, December 19, 2003
  Church Signs
One great thing about living in the south is that there is always something going on that is well worth observing.

I started my day with a stop at the nearest Smoothie King to get myself a HUGE angel food smoothie and a bag of banana chips. This is how I get most of my vitamins and nutrients. Smoothie King, if it were not for you, I’d never eat. I then stopped at Starbuck’s to get a cup of coffee for the road. I like to try their holiday flavors that they only have during the Christmas holidays. Today I got peppermint mocha. It was much better than the eggnog latte that I tried yesterday. That was just awful, yet oddly familiar. I will definitely go back for another peppermint mocha when I feel like a change from my usual cappuccino or latte.

I was driving in the country and saw a sign in front of a church that had one of those “fire and brimstone” type quotes on it and decided to drive around in search of as many odd church signs that I could find. Mississippi is the perfect place to find such nonsense.
I got comfortably situated, pushed play on my Neil Diamond’s Greatest Hits cd, lit my left handed cigarette, and was on my way. I ended up traveling a lot farther than I originally anticipated. I did not see as many signs as I thought that I would, but here are what the ones that I did find had to say:

God keeps all of his promises. It’s important to know them well.

What part of “thou shall not” do you not understand?

Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life.

When praises go up, blessings come down.

The gift of God is eternal life.

The end is near. Are you prepared to meet God?

Today is seldom too early. Huh?

I guess since Christmas is right around the corner that they are refraining from putting up things like,” you’re going straight to hell because you are a sinner” on their signs. I’m sure that these morbidly funny church quotes will return in the New Year. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see. I did enjoy getting out of the house to seize the day. I need to do this more often.

I did save the best for last. My favorite sign was not one from a church, but one that was in front of a furniture store. It was one of those big pointing signs with the light bulbs all around it. It said, “WRESTLING AROUND BACK!!” How funny is that? Wouldn’t you know that I see this on the one day that I don’t have my camera with me? I will definitely have to go back and photograph this.
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