Ms. Tigger and I on the happiest day...
I think that I have spent so much time drinking wine and making my rounds from the sauna to the hot tub to the computer that I have made myself sick. My head feels like someone is driving nails into my ears. I have a 101 temperature and my chest feels like I’ve smoked a carton of Marlboro reds in the past three days. I have not enjoyed the guilty pleasure of a cigarette since Wednesday night. Arrrrh!! Maybe I should find my way to the nearest Walgreen’s and pick up some good old Robitussin AC, (with codeine) some Campbell’s chicken and rice soup, (remove the unwanted chicken pieces, of course) and a large container of orange juice. Oh, apple juice too!! These things always make me feel better or do they? Maybe I’m just high on codeine. Whatever!
There will be no preaching today. I’m not up to it. Here are a few funny things that I’ve heard today while worthlessly lying in bed watching television. Enjoy.
“It’s a dildo and an alarm clock.” BM
“You can’t be a non-conformist if you don’t drink coffee.” Southpark
“Enjoy those tacos while you can because one day they will be illegal and I think you know why.” Aqua Teen Hunger Force
“Gingerbread cookies should not have boobs that big.” KS
“I only hang out with a small group of people that are into bondage.” Stripper on Cinemax
“The relationship that you have with that cat is completely unnatural.” Mom