<$BlogRSDURL$>
catsinthetub

Rest in Peace

1993-2005


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Ms. Tigger and I on the happiest day...
Thursday, January 08, 2004
  Your A Very Bad Girl, NN, Kinda Pathetic Too
Just a little note here to let myself know how very disappointed that I am in, well, myself. I am officially smoking again! I have been smoking since Saturday. I did not smoke Sunday. I thought that I wasn't smoking because I did not want or need to. I was wrong. I was not smoking because I was hung over and afraid that a cigarette would only make me vomit or worse. (There are lots of things that make me want to vomit. All of which I will share with you on another day.) Anyway, Sunday night I started to feel better so I began to smoke again. (I was watching CM smoke and it looked sooo satisfying that I had to have one.) That one cigarette quickly turned into one pack which has turned into two packs, well you get the picture. I do not plan on smoking daily again. I WILL QUIT!! I have the flu and for some strange reason, a cigarette makes me feel like I can hack up most of that shit that has built up in my chest and yes, it IS helping. Don't judge me, damn it!

I must also point out to myself how absolutely pathetic that I was when my computer was broken. I lied in the bed and stared at it like it were a sick relative. (The sad part is that I am happier on this freaking computer than I am with most people these days.) Sad, NN, very, very sad! It is giving me something to do with my time rather than sit around feeling sorry for myself because life simply doesn't go my way. You know what, it never has. Why should I be so damn upset about it now? Really, things have never been too terribly easy for me. I have never really been too happy with anyone. (Friends, lovers, anyone) I think that I simply put up with my totally disfunctional family because, well, because they ARE my family. I just keep thinking that one fine day I will indeed be happy. I guess that it is hard to believe it when in all of my nearly 28 years on this planet (Yes, I'm orginally from Mars.) I've never been really happy. I've just been really sad. I try so f***ing hard to gain everyone's love and approval that I think I make it extra hard on myself. Oh well, if it never happens, I will live. I've been doing it a long time. Why should I stop now?
 
Comments: Post a Comment
Just go ahead and read, afterall, did no one tell you that I'm the nicest fucking person that I know?! You can email me at catsinthetub@hotmail.com, go ahead, make my day!

CAT FANCY
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008

MEEEOWWW

COOL CATS
a damn thing
air america radio
defective yeti
hate your daddy
lactating powder(my best friend)
math
mm@chronic
perpetual blonde
rock snobs
sexy man
suzannadanna


Powered by Blogger

Site Meter