I Want To Live Under The Sea...
Have you ever thought about what you want to be done with your remains when you die? I’ve given this a lot of thought. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve lost a brother and a sister or why it is. I’ve “buried” many loved ones to be a young 27 years old.

My brother didn’t want to be buried, so he’s in an above ground tomb. He was Closter phobic and worried about bugs. Why? I don’t know. I mean, you’re dead, that’s only your shell. Why do we give this so much thought? My sister was put in a mausoleum. If you’re not familiar with this; it’s like a filing cabinet full of dead people. CREEPY!!

I’ve given the disposal of my remains plenty of thought. (Perhaps more than any “normal” person would, but I never claimed to be “normal”. Ya’ll know I’m “CRAZY”.) I’ve NEVER wanted to be buried. I guess that I’m like my brother because the whole bug thing freaks me out. I definitely don’t want to be put in the filing cabinet. That’s just too weird for me. I used to say that I wanted to be cremated.

First, I wanted to be cremated and spread around in the butterfly garden at the New Orleans Zoo. I wanted to be put back into the earth. (Kind of recycle myself) Second, I wanted to be emptied into the ocean/sea/whatever, I’m sure you get it. This was “the one” that I originally planned on sticking to until I saw another choice on the Discovery Channel. (We’ll talk more on that later.)

Of course, my mother told me that if I were to die before that she would never have me cremated. Being the overly Catholic woman that she is, she said that I would go to hell if I were cremated. (I know some Catholics, especially my mom, are nuts when it comes to shit like this.) Recently, the Pope said that it was o.k. to be cremated. (Well, thank you!) Now my mom says that its o.k., but she’d rather not. I mean the Pope could come out and announce that if you smoked an ounce of marijuana a day that you’d go straight to heaven; my mom would make Cheech and Chong look tame.

BM used to tell me that if we were married; he’d have me buried. After all, he’d be lonely buried without me beside him. Um yeah, like, we’d be DEAD! He said that there should be a place where he or others could visit. I guess that I can understand that. I mean, I go visit my brother’s grave often. It, for some reason, makes me feel closer to him by being there. (He was born on the 4th of July and my mom always put red, white, and blue bullshit around his gravesite. Every year on his birthday, my brother and I go there with every color of flower other than red, white, or blue (Eric always hated that shit!) decorate it, and sit on top of it and smoke one with him. It may sound weird, but you can feel his presence there with you.)

I know what I want done with my remains and EVERYONE, but PS thinks that I’m weird and crazy. (You obviously don’t know me if you’re just now finding this out!) I will be cremated, but that’s not all. There’s this place in Atlanta where for 1-3 thousand dollars they’ll add your remains to man made coral. You’re family or whoever brings your ashes and pours them into the mixture. They make the coral and put it at the bottom of the sea. You’re loved ones are there for it, so I guess it’s kind of like a funeral. (Only in a nice, sunny, happy place!)

I’m going to meet with my lawyer soon to have papers drawn up to ensure that my wishes are carried out, no matter what my family or anyone may say. You know, just in case. I want to live under the sea. Wouldn’t it be lovely? Lovely, I like that word. I love to be told, “You’re lovely”.

Isn’t the thought of being under the water with the most beautiful colors ever created, colors people have never seen, beautiful creatures swimming all around you, ALWAYS something to look at, (like living in art) a much lovelier thought than being put in the ground and slowly eaten by bugs? Oh! You’d have spiders crawling all over you. I couldn’t handle it. I hate spiders! I know I’d be dead and all, but I don’t want my shell to go through that. I love the ocean. Being under the water, seeing the beauty, there are no words to describe it, unless you’ve seen it.

Yes, and just to be EXTRA weird, when my Tigger passes on; (God help me on that day which is at least 30 yrs away.) she will too be cremated. I plan on putting her in an urn. When I die and am cremated; her ashes will be added to mine. People have often told me that I’m catlike because I like to get up early in the morning just to look at the birds. I love to observe. I’m amazed by almost everything. What better place for us to R.I.P. than under the sea in an octopus’s garden?
  ¶ 6:28 PM