Ms. Tigger and I on the happiest day...
Written 1-30-04 5:45pm
Well, yesterday was one of the single worst of my life. I accidentally made one of my two best friends very angry with me. I expected to never talk to or see them again. I reacted as if someone had died or worse. I was more troubled by this “friend thing” than I was about the whole “daddy thing”. (All these “bad things”, I wish they would all just GO AWAY!) I then reached a new point of being totally emotionally fucked. I was t.e.f.f.o.e.d.
(totally, emotionally, fucking, freaked, out) Teffoed, new word? Don’t know, really don’t care. I was crying hysterically. You know the whole AHHHEEE!!!
(Multiplied x 1000) I was doing the crying/moaning thing. You know the one that makes those around you think that you are hyperventilating and that they need to take you to the hospital? The one where you are crying so intensely, you can't close your mouth. That one!
Um no, people, I just found out that my biological father was not. I have no idea what man kindly donated his precious sperm to make me. I always thought that I got many of my “good” traits from my father. I guess that it doesn’t have to be biological for everything. Does it? Then last night I go and check my email and believe that I’ve lost one of the most important people in my life forever. It really did (and still does) feel like someone that I loved deeply has died. Needless to say, I was ready to plan my funeral.
THANK GOD!! I just got an email from my friend
and my friend said that I was over reacting. They said that I needed to give them time to be angry. Be angry, my friend, but just don’t ever let our friendship end. I couldn’t handle loosing you.
**By the way, people, NO SHIT! , when HH and I got home on Wednesday. My Mom broke the news to us that they had to put our family dog, Sissy, asleep. Sissy was a sweetheart of a dog that lived a long, spoiled life. May she R.I.P.**