Ms. Tigger and I on the happiest day...
Use Caution While Operating Heavy Machinery
I just wanted to do a little update. I’ve been drugged up for the last few days. Lorcet makes me act VERY strange. I was on the phone with PS and he told me that I told him that I needed a chocolate pudding IV and then proceeded to tell him all about my love for Cheese Whiz. (Which I hate passionately) BM told me that I told him EVERY
thing that I hated about him and was meaner than I’d ever been in the past ten years. (This I find hard to believe, because I can be a real bitch.) Anyway, BM, I’m sorry that I said mean things to you.
I guess pain medication brings out the devil in me and she talks in slurred speech.
The source of my pain is this damn tooth that I’ve been messing around with for about a year. I had a root canal and my dentist put that fake cement shit on it temporarily until I can come back for my crown, well I haven’t been back. I was supposed to have it put on in April. Y’all, it’s almost freaking March and my dumb ass is suffering for my stupidity as we speak. I was brushing my teeth and this white thing came out that wasn’t part of my tooth. I couldn’t figure out where it came from until I started hurting about an hour later. It seems my temporarily shit is falling out and I need to go to the dentist quick!!
I had to cancel plans to go to La. I have not been able to get any of my little things accomplished like get my tire fixed. I’ve been too messed up to talk on the phone; much less drive. I just took some pain medicine, but I don’t feel crazy yet. It usually takes about four hours then BAM!!
I start acting like a lunatic. The average person would just go to sleep and sleep for days on this shit, but not me. I actually get hyper. I found myself in the bathroom the other night curling what is left of my hair (I got like 6 inches cut off!) and putting on make-up. I wasn’t putting on make-up like a normal person. I was putting on make-up like I was on my way to the “Let’s look like a six year old did our make-up contest.”
I had the biggest sexiest hair that I’d ever had. (That’s big because I can get this mop pretty high up there.) I had on baby blue eye shadow, pink lipstick, and my cheeks looked like Bozo himself came over to help me. I looked like I came straight out of 1984. I then put on an evening gown that I haven’t worn in at least ten years and paraded around the apartment like I was Miss America. I quickly lost the whole “Like a Virgin” mood and went into “Robert Smith” mode. I didn’t wash off my old make-up; I just started over on the same canvas. I put on black eye shadow, made my eyebrows VERY
dark, put on thick black eyeliner, and then outlined my lips with my black eyeliner and filled in the space with the reddest lipstick that I’ve ever seen. (I don’t even think a hooker would go this red.) Then I proceeded to make the hair look just like Robert Smith’s hair. This made me very proud. I took off the dress and put on an all black outfit that Marilyn Manson would run from.
Imagine my embarrassment when I stepped outside on the patio to smoke a cigarette and my neighbor walked by. I tried to hide, but couldn’t. She said, “I like your hair cut.” I tried to explain that I was on pain medication and playing “dress up” sounded like an amazing idea a few hours ago. After she stood there and stared at me like I had escaped the mental ward of the hospital, I said “fuck it”. I’ve had the tooth ache from hell when I was all normal and “pretty”. Now I’m feeling no pain and yes, I do look crazy. What’s your excuse?