Lenty
“We’ve got so much in common except for the fact that he’s a total psychopath!” PS said this and I thought it was so funny that I had to write it down.


I just got off the phone with PS. We are hanging out wed. We haven’t seen much of each other because of his schedule and my being ill. I’m sure by Wed.; I’ll be back to my old self. We have both been going through so much lately. I just wish that we could take off and head to the Bahamas for a week or two. I know that would make me feel much better about life!?


I was thinking about so many things earlier today and told myself:” Self, write this shit down or you’ll forget!” Guess what!!! I forgot!!! I usually write EVERYTHING down. I’ve just been kind of depressed and haven’t written much. By being in this mood (not writing and stuff) I’m not acting like myself at all. I don’t know what in the hell is wrong with me. Have you ever had the feeling that everyone in your life that has ever told you that they loved you never meant it? I think this about some people and it scares me. I don’t think that some of the people (in my life) that have said that they loved me even know what love is. This saddens me. This saddens the shit out of me! Hell, this makes me want to go fetal and cry. I just can’t make myself do that at this particular moment. I’m high and can’t cry high, but later…

I have never in my life felt as unsure about my future as I do as of now. And You, You fucking fucker, what are you? Your that damn little piece of lent that is in my belly button. No matter how many times I through you away, there you are. Back again!! Why is it that every time that I think you’re gone, forgets about you, and feel clean; there you are back in my damn belly button? You’re filling it full of shit that shouldn’t be there. The weirdest thing is that when I’m at my most comfortable: I’m curled up in the bed, watching TV with a belly button full of lent. (Well, not full, but you know, lenty!)

I miss feeling the way I felt before.
  ¶ 5:43 PM