Show Me Your "O" Face
Written on 3-29-04

I’m at Barnes and Noble and just ordered a mocha cappuccino and she gave me a mocha frappuccino. I didn’t say anything to her. Now I need to suck this damn thing down and order a MOCHA CAPP. I’ll just say it a little louder this time. I do like the frap. but I just wanted my usual. Oh well.

Tomorrow is Eric Clapton’s birthday. He will be 60. He’s having a costume birthday party. I’m going as Wonder Woman and will arrive in my invisible jet. I will then put my lasso of truth around his neck and he will tell me that he wants me to go on tour with him and be his assistant. I tell him that I will under one condition; that my recently divorced boyfriend Hugh can come along. He says ok. Cool! This is going to be a grrrreat tour. (Then I wake up?!)

PS got me the most beautiful journal for my birthday. It’s dark brown leather with light paper inside. (You could probably roll a joint with one of them.) Not that I would know anything about how to roll a joint or anything like that. I’m a good girl. Stop laughing. Seriously, stop it. Anyway, back to my gift. PS wrote this on the first page: “To my dearest NN, Have a fabulous belated birthday, fabulous year, and a fabulous whatever. I am so lucky to have a best non fag hag friend such as yourself. I am a flower and you are my sun. I am a lump of clay and you are my sculptor. I am an ass and you are my toilet paper. You know just how to clean my shit up.
I love you,
PS” Isn’t that the sweetest thing ever? I love him so much. It’s so pretty that I don’t want to write in it. I just want to put it away for safe keeping. Maybe I’ll just write about PS and myself in it. It could one day become a book; The Adventures of NN and PS. That seems to be fitting.

We went out Friday and it was very interesting. All I can say is that Smitty is engaged to a CUNT! I hate that word. I despise it, but she is a piece of work. When I met her and introduced myself and offered my congratulations; she replied, “You need to go the fuck away!” He’s found himself quite a lady, a true southern belle. Mind you, I’d never laid eyes on her in my life. Obviously she is very insecure about her relationship. Maybe she was just so scared that her fiancé would think that I was much more beautiful (which I am) and dump her for me. The funny thing is that I would not have this man if he was the last person on earth and it was up to us to reproduce. It would just be the end of the world, sorry.

I really don’t feel like driving to Pepe’s tonight. I’ve had the worst upset stomach all day. I think that he thinks that I’m avoiding him, but I just don’t feel well. Oh, I just ordered a mocha cap. SUCCESS!!!

I was so happy the other day. I went shopping for my LP and she loves Hello Kitty stuff. I’ve had one hell of a time finding anything HK because my boy Sponge Bob Square Pant is becoming the shiznit!! He’s everywhere. I even saw a SBSP toilet seat cover. How crazy is that? I got her two pairs of HK socks that are too freaking cute, real HK candy from Asia, a HK alarm clock that glows in the dark, and also sent her kitty a toy and some treats from my kitty. There will be a delay on the toy. I had all of the stuff in a bag and O kitty got into the bag and pulled out the toy and ripped it to pieces. It’s the catnip, it’s like crack. She should also be receiving flowers today and they better be pretty!!

I talked to Mr. O’s daddy for an awful long time Friday. I’d met him before, but we never really talked. I feel as if I’ve made a new friend. It’s weird, you have no idea how weird, but I really like Mr. O’s daddy. He’s probably the last person in the world that anyone in the world would expect me to be friends with, but I just can’t get him out of my head. Weird, huh? I hope that I get to spend more time with him and that we become even better friends. He’s had a rough time here lately. I really do feel for him. He has a broken heart. I just want to help him put it back together again. (I guess that is me trying to “mom” him.) I’m often told that I “mom” my friends. Sorry Guys!! I’ve got a good feeling that Mr. O’s daddy will be happy again. It will just take time. He’s a total sweetie and I like him a lot!

I had such a good time this weekend. Now I’m once again unhappy. Imagine that. Pepe is being a total ass and I’ve about had enough of his shit. I’ve never punched anyone, but I feel the need to try it soon. I’m really not a mean person. You don’t know me to judge, but I’m the nicest fucking person that I know. Lately, I’m finding that I’m becoming mean and bitter towards several of the people in my life. I’ve been a total bitch to my family and a few friends. I need stability. I need to be loved (really). Most of all, I want to love.

  ¶ 2:23 PM