Hello Old Friend
This was written yesterday 2pm.
This is the first time that I've written since my little "experience". I'm feeling sooo tired. I'm taking my medication (Neurontin and Ativan)three times a day. This shit makes me so tired. Example: I took my first dose this morning at 8am, played the magical flute, and was asleep by 9am and didn't wake up until noon. Now it's 2pm and time for my second dose.I try to take the third by 7 or 8pm. AHHHH!!!! I feel like all I've done since I've gotten out of the hospital is sleep. Now, you tell me, how am I suspose to keep up with Days of Our Lives at this rate?

I did have a date last night with a total cutie. I didn't realize just how much I was craving attention until it was lavished upon me. The only thing this guy didn't do was bring me flowers, (Daisies and tulips are the way to go. Anyone can get roses.) but how was my sweetness to know that? Thank you, sweetness for a grrrreat evening. I look foward to the next one. Maybe we'll do something just the two of us. You know? I know your reading. (To all of the perverts reading out there, no, I'm not talking about sex with chickens. That doesn't happen until you're well into the second month of dating!!)

I'm still suffering from pain (sometimes severe) from the seizure, spinal, whatevah!! The only thing that is bothering me is that my back pain seems to be getting progresively worse instead of better. It almost embarasses me because when I walk, I usually have to be holding on to something or someone. I feel like a cat that's had one side of it's whiskers cut. (You might call me a little off balance.) Being a catlike woman myself, I can sympathize with all of the whiskerless kitties running around looking crazy. I'm seriously thinking of getting a cane to help me walk, but where does one find a cool cane. I certainly don't want one that looks like it was stolen from our local nursing home. I need something cool. Maybe with a skull handle. Nothing could possibly make me look any crazier than I look now.

About my little "experience": Pepe said that I was sitting on the couch staring up at the ceiling (looking at God knows what, you know us kitties see crazy shit all of the time) and followed it down to the floor. I then managed to become as stiff as a board. I had turned my neck as far to the right as I could and pressed my chin close to my body. Then I started kicking my legs against the coffee table. (I still have bruises all over me. I feel so purdy!) I have very fair skin and bruise easily, so you can imagine. I then fell out on the floor, rolled my eyes into the back of my head, had some white foamy shit coming out of my mouth, and stopped breathing for 40 seconds. When I started breathing, I sucked all of God knows what into my mouth. YUMMY! I quickly jumped up and started clenching my teeth and flinging my arms and tried to kick Pepe's ass. Once I stopped, he cleaned me up and threw a hat on my head and took me to the emergency room. (I'd thrown up ALL night before this happened. Needless to say, I wasn't looking like my usual Miss America self!) I'm not quite sure when it was that the doctor told me that I'd had a grand-maul seizure.

I couldn't talk. I didn't know my name or anyone elses. I didn't know what city or state that I was in. I couldn't even urinate. I had to be catherized (not sure on the spelling) and that was so pleasant. Imagine it, you're lying there on you're back with your hoo-haa exposed for all to see and have one person holding each leg apart and one practally sitting on you because you just kicked the shit out of the nurse. I thought the whole process was very painful. That was until I was fortunate enough to get a spinal tap. OH MY GOD!!! NOW THAT'S PAIN!! My back still hurts from that damn thing. I just found out tuesday that I was in the hospital for 5 days. I thought that I was only the for 2 or 3. It's like I don't remember the events of the whole week. In a way, I'm glad that I don't, but it also scares me that that can happen. I can tell you one thing, I'll remember that spinal tap for the rest of my life.

This medicine is also depressing the hell out of me. You guys know that depression is just one of my many wonderful traits, but I'm talking like a whole lot more than usual. I'm finding that I don't want to be alone. Oh, and I can cry during a fucking Puppy Chow comercial. I dare not to even watch Oprah for the fear of an emotional overload. A month ago I loved to be alone and do nothing, but play with my Tigger and my "Precious". My how things can change. Damn it, I'm crying now.

I must be going now. I guess that I should make myself eat something. Since I've been on this medication, cigarettes have taken the place of food. Besides, I must go and figure out what to wear this evening. I must look my best.

I've never gone this long without posting and hope that I never do it again. I must say, it's good to be back!!!  ¶ 2:11 PM