Ms. Tigger and I on the happiest day...
We're Those People
Good morning, people! It's 9am here. ( I always have to type that b/c the post time is never correct.) I'm up waiting for the gas man to get here and fill up our tank. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to be up this early. It's just when I'm in my room asleep with the door shut, I can't hear if anyone is knocking or what. So, I'm UP! Damn it!!! I didn't finally fall asleep until about 2am. Last night totally sucked.
PS and Father O' got home at about 1am. Father O' was really, really drunk off of what PS said was only a few drinks. He was all silly acting. I guess that he felt better after throwing up all over the side of his car on the way home. I know I would. Apparantly, they hit every bar in the Metro area. It sounded like a good time. I wouldn't know. I wasn't invited. I was only asked for a 20 dollar loan and heard a quick bye as they flew out the door. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, I mean, why in the hell would PS want me to go out with them? It's not like we're "friends" or anything.
That was a very sad statement for me to make, but it has become true. 6 months ago, before we moved in together, I would have been told to make myself all purdy and come on. I know that I mentioned this in one of my last entries, but we haven't done anything "friend like" since we've moved in together. Unless, you count going to the grocery store together. It's not like we've gotten to the point of not talking or anything like that, but I'm sure that'll come next. I just don't feel like he cares for me or even wants to be my friend. I just feel like the person that he shares a living space with. It's sad, really, b/c I truly thought that we were best friends. Sometimes, I don't even feel that he's happy with us living together. I dunno!?! I just know that last night; I did everything, but invite myself, and was still left home alone.
I guess these things just happen when friends move in together. I could understand not wanting to hang out b/c we just saw sooo much of each other, but we don't. Hell, who am I to sit here and say that he should hang out with me or try to? I'm just his fucking roommate. He has every right to come and go anywhere he pleases. The whole situation has just made me very emmotional. I feel like I don't have any friends. None! My day with Alice has been cancelled. It's not her fault. Her husband is sick, so she's going to do the good wife thing and stay home with him. As she should! I hope he gets to feeling better soon. It sucks to be sick.
I was writing in my journal last night/this morning when blogger decided to shut down. I was writing that I'm just going to go into my "hermit" mode of life. I started laughing hysterically, I'm already there! The only way that I could become more of a fucking hermit than I am now would be to quit my job and lock myself in my bedroom. That's where I've been spending most of my time anyway.
I don't know if I'm just sitting here feeling sorry for myself or wtf. I do know that I need to get a life of my own. I need someone/something that makes me happy. I'll get started on it at some point. I'm just not feeling like Suzie Sweets and wanting to go out in search of love and friendship. Maybe later. None of my so-called friends ever call me unless they need or want something from me. To you people, it's over! I'm breaking up with you b/c I deserve to be treated better.
Ok, off the depressing bullshit that is my life. I have to work tonight and tomorrow night. Hooray! I think that I'm going to go and visit my family on sunday for a little while. I'm dying to see my Mom's hair. She cut it all off. It's like chin length. That's sooo awesome to me. This woman has not had a different haircut in 30 years. For real. Remember the photo that I put up of us with the Easter bunny? That pic. was taken in 1984 and the last time that I saw her, she had the same haircut. You go, Mom!!! I'm sure that it looks great. She said that she was bathing and looked in the mirror and just got sick of it, said fuck it, and started cutting. It's not like my mother is some crazy woman that started whacking her hair off. She know how to cut, color, and highlight. She's been doing her hair and my sister's forever. I'll let her dye mine, but not cut. I only let gay men cut my hair. Unless I'm totally broke, than, I'll just take a drive to Monroe and let my cousin do it for free.
Speaking of Funroe, I will be making a road trip there at the end of Feb. My brother and cousin and other family have been bugging me to come visit. I guess that I should. I just hate that place. It always leaves me depressed b/c it's not the same place that I spent the first 18 years of my life. It's changed sooo much and it makes me sad. It makes me sad to bump into old friends and not even remember their names. (people that I went to Catholic school with, of course) Everyone went to Catholic school. Not everyone, but you get my point. You live in La. You go to Catholic school. That was just in the handbook of parenting or something. Beats the shit out of me? My Mom did let me go to public school for one year and I must say it was different. Instead of cute little girls in their awful uniforms trying to catch a quick smoke in the bathroom, there was big nasty bitches that looked like they were ready to kick your ass smoking pot in the restroom. Wow! Now that was a big change. I learned that all people aren't like the spoiled little Catholic school kids. Some of them were cool, some of them became my friends, and some of them were just plain old scary!!!
I think that I'm fixing to call my cousin and talk for a while until the gas man gets here and I can leave the house and go get something to eat and some smokes. I've got 3 left. He'd better hurry his ass up!
Scoop the Poop on Sunday!!!