Ms. Tigger and I on the happiest day...
Not As Funny As Monty Python
Well, if you read the previous post, he's not "That Guy". He's "The Asshole!"
I've been trying to do what my friend at Hate Your Daddy says that you need to do when you break up with someone and you no longer want anything to do with them for years now and I'm finally doing it. Miss A says that you must make them dead to you and stick to it. That's what I'm doing at this moment in time. It's not easy, but I'll get used to it.
I guess in my stupid mind that I thought that when Pepe and I broke up years ago that we could still be friends. Instead, we just played the back and forth game. Well, now that game is officially over. He is just about finished with his pharmacy rotations and has already accepted a job in south Mississippi. Good-bye and good ridings to you. Please stay down there and stick it out for your first hurricane. For that one, I'll say good luck.
Pepe and I started dating in June of 1994. My plan was to graduated from high school and then move back home to Monroe as quick as I moved over here. Then, I met Pepe. We dated for nearly 12 years. There were some wonderful times. There were some awful times. I treated him very badly and he treated me badly. I treated him wonderful and in return, he did the same. I was never the perfect little angel of a girlfriend nor was he the perfect angel of a boyfriend. There was cheating, lying, and much, much more. I'm not not going to sit here and feed you a load of shit and make it out like I was perfect and never did anything wrong and the mean, mean man broke my heart because that's just not fair and totally untrue.
We broke up many times during the years and always found our way back to eachother. I, no matter who I was with, always had a special place in my heart for Pepe and thought that I always would. That was until the other day when I called him to tell him that I had run into a mutual friend that neither of us had seen since we lived in Oxford. The friend, Coach Billy Brewer, former football coach of the Ole Miss Rebels. He's a living legend around Mississippi. (Personally, I think that he's a really nice guy, but I'm a Louisiana gal, so Geaux Tigers!!!) Anyway, back to story...I saw Coach and he asked how Pepe was doing, obviously thinking that we were still together and I told him that he was doing great and was just about finished with school and landed a job in south Ms. He told me to tell him good luck and hello.
Anyhew, I got home and was excited to call Pepe and tell him who I ran into and give him the message. He basically treated me like dog shit and said that he thought it would be best if we just never spoke again!@? WTF? It was like a week or two before that that he was telling me how much he was looking forward to hanging out with me. Again, WTF? That's when that special place in my heart turned to stone.
I went a lil, just a lil psycho and started calling the hell out of him when I knew that he was busy. I was just trying to piss him off. I wanted him to hurt or feel as bad as he had made me feel, but then I reflected on some good advice from the very wise Miss A at Hate Your Daddy. I'm not going to play any more of these games with him. I'm going to make him dead to me. It sucks, but that's what I must do to get on with my life. It's clear that he's already made me dead to him. I think he did that a long time ago.
I just started think. NN, your a smart girl. Your not bad looking and you've got a kick ass personality. There are many men out there who would be lucky to even go out with you. That's my new attitude and I think it's a healthy one. I'm just about kicked my lil Xanax habit and there is a whole new person coming out of this that I never knew and ya know what? I like her!
I'm looking forward to see where the future takes me. I'm looking forward to meeting new people. I'm looking forward to MY new life. For the first time in a long time, I'm not afraid, I'm very excited to see where my new found life takes me. Wish me luck!!!