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Tuesday, January 20, 2004
  Can I Smoke In Here?
I began the process of my therapy yesterday. (Hooray for me!!) I had to go to my GP doctor’s office for a referral. I got there at 12:30p.m. And finally saw the doctor at 3:00p.m. (Glad that I had nothing else to do with my day.) Dr. G said that I was definitely showing signs of depression. (No shit!) He gave me two prescriptions to start taking. Today I start back on my Wellburtin and one I’ve never taken before, Transxene. (He said the Transxene was like a XANAX that lasted all day.) Great, just what I need!?

Dr. G referred me to Dr. MM. He is supposed to be one of the best psychiatrists in the state. For 300 dollars an hour, he better be pretty fucking special. (He best not get mad at me if I smoke in his office. Shit! For 300 dollars, he should have a dirty martini ready for me as I walk through the door.)

I have my first meeting with him on Wednesday at 11:00a.m. I guess that I’m excited. (As excited as I’m going to be until I find out that he is Hugh Jackman’s long lost twin.) It will be good to know that there is someone listening, whose job is to listen and try their best to “help” me. I only hope that I actually make some progress toward happiness this time around because here lately, I’ve just been feeling that I can’t live like this much longer. That scares me because, I’m not that kind of person, but I’m feeling myself slowly turning into one.

I just hope that he doesn’t think that I’m too crazy. I mean, I really don’t care too much what he thinks as of now. I, well, I know that I’m crazy and that tends to frighten people. Let’s not say “crazy”. I’m not “crazy”. I’m “normal” and every one else is “crazy”. These “crazy” people are confused because I’m “normal” and they just don’t quite know what to think about that! Ha! Ha!
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